SUN, SEX, AND ALCOHOL: THE 43 STAGES OF A LAD’S HOLIDAY

BANG&STRIKE — The Edit

Sun, Sex & Alcohol.
The 43 Stages of a Lad's Holiday.

A parent- and partner-free week of sun, sex and a frankly irresponsible amount of booze. From the 7am airport pint to the comedown on the flight home — every glorious, ill-advised stage.

Magaluf. Malia. Ayia Napa.

If there's one rite of passage every man needs to experience at least once, it's the lad's holiday. Whether you go to Magaluf or Malia, Ibiza or Ayia Napa, there are a few things — good, bad, and downright ugly — that you can bet your spending money will happen at least once.

Forty-three of them, to be exact. Strap in.

Wheels Up, Standards Down.

01

7am: arrive at airport. Custom t-shirts? Standard.

Lads on holiday at the airport at 7am in matching t-shirts with pints
02

Navigate security. Someone gets strip searched. Brilliant.

03

Unless it's you.

04

Security done. Now for the reason you came — the 8am binge.Best. Idea. Ever. Until…

Lads doing shots at the airport bar at 8am
05

"Final call for flight…"

06

Plane boarded — just. Time for a quick celebration.

07

Next: inflight entertainment.

08

It won't be long before somebody hits on the staff.

09

And someone is sick in their cup.

10

Eventually most of you succumb to the temptations of sleep.(Hey, it was an early start.)

Man asleep with mouth open on a budget flight
11

You finally arrive. The battle of the baggage claim begins.

12

Bags secured. 40 minutes on the transfer bus, too polite to tell someone to move over.

13

You reach the hotel. With high expectations.Fail.

"Five people. Four beds. Loser gets the bath."

It Starts Civilised. It Does Not Stay That Way.

14

Checked in. Room located. Five people. Four beds. Loser gets the bath.

Cramped hotel room, five lads four beds, one in the bathtub
15

Thought you could have a nap? You thought wrong. So wrong.

16

The night starts like this:

17

But after one, you can't stop.

18

Until you all think "sod it" — and just drink from a bucket.

Lads sharing a giant cocktail bucket at a nightclub
19

Trying to act 'macho' will definitely go wrong.

20

And even your very best chat-up lines will fail a few times.

21

You break out a few moves, thinking you look like this:

Man doing an overconfident dance move on the nightclub dancefloor
22

When really looking like this:

23

Not throwing up becomes a distant memory.

24

And when the sun comes up, you realise the fight over the beds really didn't matter.

Sunscreen? Who Needs Sunscreen.

25

Afternoon comes — too soon. Think you had a trouble-free evening? Wait until you're told what really happened.You all vow to take it easy tonight. Of course you will, won't you?

26

Time to hit the beach. Sunscreen? Who needs sunscreen?

27

In reality, it's probably a good idea. Just don't trust your 'friends' with it.

28

Beach activities include helping out the mate with… questionable application technique.

29

And the one who took "I don't need sunscreen" a little too far.

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"Let's Just Have a Couple."

30

The sun goes down again. "Let's just have a couple," you say. The night starts civilised.

31

But quickly goes downhill.

32

You can't blame a guy for trying some more.

33

And for giving you memories you'll never be able to erase.

34

At least one of you is eventually going to break down.

35

There'll be some moving displays of affection.

36

And some deep feelings will be revealed.

37

But whatever happens, the important thing is that you always carry on.Until the final night arrives…

38

When the thought of another drink makes you feel… But no one wants to admit it.

39

So you do it anyway. The next day you're regretting it. Bad.

40

Except for that one 'sensible' friend.Who you now hate. At least until you get home.

The Journey From Hell.

41

The journey from hell begins.

42

Back home, you give your lift from the airport a very detailed answer when they ask how your holiday was.

43

But inside, you're all like…And you can't wait to do it all over again.

Exhausted hungover lads slumped at the airport gate heading home
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